J3J Episode 06: Raw Horse Meat 「迷惑ですから、自殺しないで下さい…」 -- a suggested new announcement from the Yamanote line A typical conversation from a night out at an izakaya: A: What the hell is this? B: Absolutely no idea. A: Oh well. Not bad. Kinda like dried squid. B: Really? Looked a bit like eel liver to me. A: Nah, that's a lot softer. This was crunchy, a bit like pork ear cartilege, you know? B: I've only tried them pickled. Maybe it was grasshopper? C: Well, actually, it was chicken. Yes, again it's time to recount some culinary adventures from the Land of the Rising Squid. Those of weak stomachs may wish to ensure that their meals are already fully digested before proceeding. The title is a bit of a spoiler, so might as well tell that particular story right away. Near Waseda University (Takadanobaba station), on Meiji-doori, is a little izakaya called Wasshoi, famed among students for its 150-yen mugs of beer (the normal price being 500-1000 yen). The menu is extensive, if not always quite up to date -- on being told that they were out of whale sashimi, my countrymen opted to choose raw horse meat instead. And lo, a dozen slices of very, very fatty brownish horse meat, still somewhat frosty from the fridge and sitting atop a mountain of sliced daikon with a pile of grated garlic on the side appeared. I've eaten (cooked) horse meat before and was not particularly enamored of the flavor, and it's not any better raw, but the thing to do is to smother out all the taste with a generous dollop of garlic and then just chew -- much to my surprise, the texture was very similar to that of the best sushi, and in fact quite pleasant. Next thing you know I'll be eating ground beef out of the bag... One interesting fast food item is the まぐろ丼 (magurodon), a simple bowl of rice topped off with fresh raw tuna and a dab of wasabi, just like in a sushi shop. There are a number of variants on the same theme, a place near U. of Tokyo does a mean ねぎとろ丼 (negitorodon), ie. ground raw tuna with spring onion, a smattering of seaweed and delectable takuan pickles, for only 490 yen a pop -- less than the price of one piece of the same stuff in a Helsinki sushi bar, and considerably better. The same cannot be said for the 山かけ丼 (yamakakedon), which dumps a bowlful of gooey white grated yam (tororo) on top of the tuna, or the ずけ丼 (zukedon), which uses pickled tuna instead... Another aspect of Japanese cuisine that tends to hit beer drinkers hard is the Japanese idea of beer nuts: instead of the perennial peanuts and popcorn, Japanese beer drinkers prefer to get their salt through various types of processed fish. The perennial favorite is of course dried squid, shredded into thin slivers and chewed on like gum; I'd only tried the rather unpleasant sweet varieties before, but last weekend I made the happy acquaintance of a variant called アタリミ (atarimi/当たり身?), which is made from the upper body and has only salt. It's like beef jerky, except that it tastes good! Another new acquaintance (which I had eaten before, I just hadn't known what it was) was エイヒレ (eihire), which consists of the dried, sweetened and shredded fins of a ray (Fin. rausku). The Buddhist probihition on killing was in the old days of Japan interpreted to refer only to four-legged animals, so two-legged chickens were fair game -- and so deep-fried or roasted chicken skin, cartilege and various internal organs, occasionally even including plain old meat, can frequently be spotted on the menu. (The pork ears mentioned earlier, however, are a Taiwanese specialty. And they *are* crunchy, if in a rather unpleasant way.) And of course we had earlier eaten いかのげそ焼き (ika no gesoyaki), deep-fried squid tentacles, fresh and crispy with cute little suction cups still attached. But don't worry, you can also find authentic Western food in Japan. Why, just today I spotted a sign advertising "英国風カレー" (England-Style Curry) at a mere 1200 yen per bowl. And what, I hear you ask, is English curry? In retrospect the answer is obvious: just take a normal bowl of thick brown Japanese curry... and slap a few bits of boiled carrot, broccoli and cauliflower on top! (I'm sure they'll stir in fish'n'chips if you ask nicely.) And now a non-food squid interlude. JR has come up with a truly brilliant advertising campaigning featuring my new hero Officer Squid, wearing a perky police officer's cap to boot. In the ad, there are three speech bubbles next to a stern-looking Squid-san. The first says "暴力" (violence) and has a little icon of a fist punching a nose, the second says "痴漢" (perversion) and shows a hand reaching for a skirt, and the third says "vandalism" and shows a fist breaking a vending machine. Now is this an evil squid or what? Unfortunately the answer seems to be no, as the next panel states that these are all bad ("Perversion is bhaaaaaaaad. Don't be a pervert, ohkay?") and that Mr. Big Mean Squid will whup your ass with a tentacle if you even think about patting that cute O.L. on the rump. Just the same, I would willingly commit acts of violence, perversion and vandalism to get my grubby hands on one of those posters, I think I'll have to pester JR's public relations department... Not enough squid for you? There's more. Back in the halcyon days of J2J, I once sampled a pair of truly noxious sushi pieces at a rotating sushi bar, but only nearly a year later did I learn what exactly I had eaten: the infamous dish known as いかの塩辛 (ika no shiokara). Kind soul that I am, I'll even give you the recipe. Take one (or more) complete squid and hack off the tentacles. Slice the tentacles into small pieces (1-3 cm), throw them into a barrel, pour in lots of salt and stir well. Take the head of the squid and scoop out its brains, intestines, etc into a food processor. The head itself we don't need, use it to make atarimi or something. Turn the food processor on "high" and mash those squid brains up real good, then pour the purply-red puree du squid into the barrel on top of the sliced tentacles. Put the barrel somewhere where the odor will not place you at imminent risk of receiving death threats, and allow the mixture to ferment for a while (half a year is generally considered sufficient). And then sell it to a popular sushi shop for the express purpose of feeding it to unsuspecting gaijin. Oishii! I even have a picture: http://www.myu.org/~yuki/foods/ika_no_shiokara/ Damage to tastebuds and resulting need for electroshock therapy excluded, with the possible exception of fugu (which I, alas, have yet to try), the only truly dangerous item on most Japanese menus is the local firewater 焼酎 (shouchuu). Under no circumstances to be confused with the milder, gentler and much more expensive rice wine sake (or 日本酒, nihonshu, as it is known in Japan), shochu is essentially the little brother of vodka, clear liquor usually distilled from barley, which (as fans will invariably tell you) was used primarily as a disinfectant during the Edo era. It's often ludicrously cheap, one large izakaya chain called Watami (和民) sells 0.7L bottles of the house brand for 650 yen, which is less than a single beer in many places... but, at about 30%, it has enough voltage to ensure a memorable evening, at least when you wake up the next morning. Shochu also goes a long way towards explaining why the Japanese word 酔い (yoi) not only means "good, elated, spellbound", as in 酔っ払う (yopparau, to be drunk), but also "to feel sick, poisoned", as in 二日酔い (futsukayoi, lit. 2nd-day-drunk, ie. to have a hangover...) 1234567890123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890